Maxim has created the list of unsexiest women alive, which is the lazy goof over Esquire because the magazine picked Charlize Theron as the Sexiest Woman Alive.
Sarah Jessica Parker topped the list. The reason why she was considered unsexy is â€œHow the hell did this Barbaro-faced broad manage to be the least sexy woman in a group of very unsexy women and still star on a show with “sex” in the title? Pull your skirt down, Secretariat, weÂ´d rather ride Chris Noth.â€
Amy Winehouse landed the second spot. Sandra Oh, Madonna and Britney Spears filled the list of Unsexiest Women.
Here is the list of Maximâ€™s Unsexiest Women:
5. Britney Spears
Where YouÂ´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Filling chicken-grease-stained sweatpants on the cover of every trashy tabloid and gossip blog on the Internet
Why SheÂ´s Unsexy: Less than five years ago, Britney had a python wrapped around her well-toned torso onstage at the VMAs. Since then, sheÂ´s lost the ability to perform, but gained two kids, two useless ex-husbands, and about 23 pounds of Funyun pudge.
Where YouÂ´ve Seen Her Unsexy: On tour, at the Wailing Wall, in the pharmacyÂ´s menopause aisle
Why SheÂ´s Unsexy: After building a personal fortune on Top 40 pornography, Madonna traded pioneering sexuality for, like other old Jewish women, self-righteous bellyaching and rapid post nuptial deterioration. Combine a Paris Hiltonâ€“like pet accessorizing fetish only for dirt-poor foreign babies with a mug that looks Euro-sealed to her skull, and youÂ´ve got Willem Dafoe with hot flashes.
3. Sandra Oh
Where YouÂ´ve Seen Her Unsexy: GreyÂ´s Anatomy
Why SheÂ´s Unsexy: The only thing worse than a show about doctors is a show about sappy chick doctors weÂ´re forced to watch or else our girlfriends wonÂ´t have sex with us. WeÂ´re holding Dr. McSkinny, with her cold bedside manner and boyish figure, personally responsible.
2. Amy Winehouse
Where YouÂ´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Onstage, offstage, and in the tabloids after cleaving herself and her husband
Why SheÂ´s Unsexy: When we first heard this chick boast about her reluctance to go to rehab we thought, Now thereÂ´s a girl we can party with! But upon beholding her openly hemorrhaging translucent skin, ratÂ´s nest mane and lashes that look more like surgically attached bats, we were the ones screaming, “Nooo, nooo, nooo!”
1. Sarah Jessica Parker
Where YouÂ´ve Seen Her Unsexy: Sex and the City, Failure to Launch, Honeymoon in Vegas